very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize