GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
