You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
