I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
