Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
