Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Porn is love you can see.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
