im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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