how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Did we literally take a cab across the street
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
