google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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