Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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