i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We need to rekindle our bromance
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
