Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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