We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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