these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Vodka?
Forever.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
