i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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