Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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