I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
