hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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