i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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