i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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