In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
