he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
