question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
