my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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