I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I sprained my soul last night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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