just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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