We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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