I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
