absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
