You just made me feel so damn special
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize