She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
