bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
