I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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