I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
