STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Two words: blizzard sex
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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