One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
