You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
