I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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