Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
