Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
