yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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