John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
