i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
