I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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