Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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