i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
