Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Randomize
