It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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