Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think a kid would responsible me up
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
