my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
