If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
