Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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