i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
