First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
