man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
