pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
