is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
