I CAN MOONWALK!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
