to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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