It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
